Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Rape 'jokes' are not okay. Rape culture is not okay. RAPE is not okay.

Fuck you CNN, fuck this misogyny, fuck the notion that a girl who was raped could possibly be in the wrong. I hate this, I hate this idea that rape is some sort of innocent mistake that is somehow justifiable if the victim is bad mouthed enough, as if her suffering isn't enough already. Because you know what, I'm done with this. I. Am. Done. Already.

Unpopular opinion: every time you laugh at a rape 'joke' you're encouraging rape culture. Rape 'jokes' aren't funny and rape can't be excused. It's uncomfortable, you won't want to believe it, it's a terrifying truth but, sadly, rape happens, and as many as one in four women will be sexually assaulted. You might not know who, but I can guarantee you'll know at least one girl who's been a victim. More than that, with numbers that high, you also know someone who assaulted. And that's even more of a worry because contrary to the pervy mustache myth, you can't tell a sex offender just by looking at them. But, we live in a culture that blames victims of the most degrading of crimes and tells women it's their fault because they drank too much but it's not the perpetrator's fault because, what the hell, they were drunk/smart/are really sorry so does it even matter?

I don't want to live in a society that says that's okay. I don't want to be on my guard or have to walk home in groups and avoid certain parts of town. Except it's not even in a dark alley, you're more likely to get raped by someone you know anyway and hell, if you're showing any hint of cleavage you're obviously gagging for it anyway. I want my daughters to live in a world where if they say no because they're too tired, because they're not really feeling it, because they don't fancy him, because they're happy just kissing, because they don't even want to justify why not then their no won't be questioned and it will be respected. And, in the most awful circumstance where it's not, they're not branded frigid or told 'but you seemed into it at the club' or told anything that justifies what happened, but society instead embraces them and endeavors for it to not happen at all.

Because no way should this medieval crime be still happening at all in 2013, certainly not in such staggering numbers. As absolutely abhorrent as the Delhi gang rape was, we shouldn't need iron bars and the woman to die for us to be shocked. We should wince and recoil every time a story comes to light instead of feeding the disease of a misogynistic culture that only allows the most dramatic version of a crime to be something above a joke. We should allow survivors to feel supported, that their claims will be taken seriously and that they will be safe. I am done with this attitude, I am done with the lack of reportings, I am through with this.

If you've been equally angered by recent rape coverage by CNN or just generally pissed off by attitudes to rape then get in on this.